Evidently Apostate

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Posts by Evidently Apostate

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  46

  Have you ever had " a moment of clarity"?

  by elderelite in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  these moments are something that not eveyone has experianced, but if you have they are with you every day.

  a true moment of clarity is not something you live once.

  you live it every time you think of it.

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  Evidently Apostate

  EE, i also dive and spent a week wreck diving around grand caymen, the water was so clear i could see the boats name at 110 feet. feeling waitless in a different world is amazing. i usually dive in new england water cold and dark but i like the adrenaline rush that comes with 6 ft visability and the lobsters.

  my clarity moment

  i have to admit i have not had a very stable childhood. not growing up a jw had nothing to do with it poor parenting was to blame. anyway i was around 17 and had been coping with depression by self medicating and was starting to use cocaine. i felt powerful when i smoked it and had went with a friend to the projects to score a couple grams. we found a guy who took us to a girls apt, she looked horrible missing teeth, hair was a mess anyway there were a few people smoking so i made a purchase and started to make my rock and the girl tells me " ill s#$k your d&*k for a hit. she said this with no shame and it caused me to look around my environment through the smoke and stench i noticed a toddler in a playpen crying that i hadnt seen before that. in that moment i stood up left the drugs told my friend i am leaving. we left i reached a market with a phone and called the police and gave them the apt #. never again touched the stuff.
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  37

  What proves that Jehovah's Witnesses are the wrong religion?

  by asilentone in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

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  Evidently Apostate

  anyone that would use god to separate a family and/or close friends is a demonic force not a positive belief system
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  14

  It's tough learning the truth

  by Cook My Socks UK in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this just came to me(after a few jd's).. i need another study!

  i was raised a jw as yound child and so have known nothing else(bar a few christmas and birthdays), what i read makes sense but doesn't make sense at the same time.

  i find it easy to dismiss what i read here but inside know it's not being true to myself.

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  Evidently Apostate

  i can only speak for myself but how much of your life are you willing to surrender. when you sit through a meeting and see others nodding to something that you know is bull how does it make you feel. are you willing to knock on a strange persons door and attempt to convince them they need to give up the life they have now for a false hope and possibly scar them forever. you will have to fake enthusiasm for things that turn your stomach, in time it may cause health problems both mental and phsycal. look at the "friends" you have in the "truth" and realize thier love for you will turn to hate and disgust because of one sentence read from a platform. and remember this cycle of happiness lasts a lifetime.

  sorry to be heavy i too am coming to grips with this myself. stay strong man

  EA
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  23

  question for those with husbands/wives in the borg

  by Evidently Apostate in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how do you respond when they question your enlightenment?

  do you find yourself holding back explaining specific doctrinal flaws or let it fly both barrels?

  i know we want our loved one to see things for what they are but even a tactfull response will cause the borg teachings to take over and everything becomes an absolute with my wife.

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  Evidently Apostate

  thank you all, the openess to discuss very personal issues is a big help to me and i am sure others. brotherdan and wannabefree i understand your frustration, just the word apostate will change facial expressions the ablility to listen becomes impossible and i have observed my wife trying to leave the room, it reminds me of how jws viewed the guys who used to picket DC's. I just came back from the bobble head convention,i mean kingdom hall, the circiut overseer is here, he talked to the cong like they were 7 y.olds i imagined them in a big circle on the rug drinking juice boxes. complete waste o time. i have a hard time trying not to show the contempt in my expressions. its a lonely road we walk. i do have a game plan similar to those from OTWO i also stopped discussing specific doctrine with her and hope some in the hall will attack my charicter because of my inactivity. if elders come calling at the house she will hopefully see the truth in my words with them and i am working on a strategy that will bring up my doubts and the wt flaws without answering the questions that would lead to a jc meeting and just maybe she will see the oppresive control they so lovingly administer.
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  23

  question for those with husbands/wives in the borg

  by Evidently Apostate in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how do you respond when they question your enlightenment?

  do you find yourself holding back explaining specific doctrinal flaws or let it fly both barrels?

  i know we want our loved one to see things for what they are but even a tactfull response will cause the borg teachings to take over and everything becomes an absolute with my wife.

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  Evidently Apostate

  gary, someday your little girl is going to read or hear that everyone not a jw is going to be murdered by god, that burns in my mind. i have kids and the lies they will be told about me if i leave is something i think about daily. i do think our wives are similar in that they are born ins and will follow the status quo
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  23

  question for those with husbands/wives in the borg

  by Evidently Apostate in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how do you respond when they question your enlightenment?

  do you find yourself holding back explaining specific doctrinal flaws or let it fly both barrels?

  i know we want our loved one to see things for what they are but even a tactfull response will cause the borg teachings to take over and everything becomes an absolute with my wife.

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  Evidently Apostate

  ND: he doesn't want to go there.

  same line of thinking with my wife, no answer just where do we go, and wait on god

  ND: i am just waiting and hoping things will change.

  i am begining to think they wont for me
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  23

  question for those with husbands/wives in the borg

  by Evidently Apostate in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how do you respond when they question your enlightenment?

  do you find yourself holding back explaining specific doctrinal flaws or let it fly both barrels?

  i know we want our loved one to see things for what they are but even a tactfull response will cause the borg teachings to take over and everything becomes an absolute with my wife.

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  Evidently Apostate

  moshe, i have been to counseling but unless the counselor understands the jw commitment it really was a waste of time, i have thought about moving on but i really see how she refuses to think for herself and to me that is the brainwashing if i could circumvent the wall i could gently help her see the truth.
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  23

  question for those with husbands/wives in the borg

  by Evidently Apostate in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how do you respond when they question your enlightenment?

  do you find yourself holding back explaining specific doctrinal flaws or let it fly both barrels?

  i know we want our loved one to see things for what they are but even a tactfull response will cause the borg teachings to take over and everything becomes an absolute with my wife.

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  Evidently Apostate

  how do you respond when they question your enlightenment? do you find yourself holding back explaining specific doctrinal flaws or let it fly both barrels? i know we want our loved one to see things for what they are but even a tactfull response will cause the borg teachings to take over and everything becomes an absolute with my wife. i feel pretty alone inside.
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  58

  For those still in- why do you (really) stay, and what would it take for you to leave the org?

  by serenitynow! in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for the so-called conscious class, those of you who know it's all a disgusting lie, what is the real reason you stay in?

  i find it hard to understand how ones who know what the org truly is would continue to be an active jw.

  i'm not talking about the "faders"- those with an actual plan to get out as painlessly as possible.

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  Evidently Apostate

  my daughter and 2 sons. thankfully my oldest doesnt want to be a baptized witness and he is 16 so he understands the mind control and is planning college as his escape. my little ones are the reason i put up with my uber jw wife.
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  200

  Demons and the WTS

  by brotherdan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i remember growing up and hearing all sorts of stories about demonic activity from people.

  some would be experiences that people had going door to door and visiting a "witch" or "warlock".

  some would inadvertently go to a fortune tellers door and have a demonic experience.. i was always facinated by all the stories.

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  Evidently Apostate

  i was around 13 and my brother was 9 we stayed in this house that one of my mothers friends was a caretaker. this was a huge house in newport ri on a road filled with mansions from the 1800's. The place was called ivy towers and my mom and her friend left us and her daughter there, mind you we have never spent any time at this place. it was full of rooms with really old pictures and gothic paintings really erie stuff. anyway in the evening this girl and i are upstairs playing a board game in her room when i hear my brother running up the stairs yelling " jehovah, jehovah save me" he runs into the room crying visably shaken and proceeds to tell me when he went down stairs to use the bathroom you walk by this old picture of an elderly woman at the first stair. he explains that as he walked by he watched this picture and the woman in it was staring at him and no matter where he moved her eyes followed him. he also said it had a blue aura around it. being the big brother i had to check it out and although there was no blue light the eyes did follow you they seemed to move from left to right, however the portrait was encased in convex glass which gave that moving eye look. my point is although i have never had a feeling that demons were out to get me( i enjoyed playing capture in graveyards) my jw mother would parrot any foolish story to us kids that she was told , possessed smurf dolls, flying ouija boards, etc. it terrified my poor brother and i think maybe that can shape our perception of the supernatural.